My problem is (well I dont really know if it is a problem!) ever since I have been a teenager I have had fantasies about having sex with my aunt and even at times my mother. I have other more ‘normal’ fantasies as well but even though I’m now in my 20s I still find these fantasies about my aunt and mother very arousing when I masterbate, partly because I know its wrong I suppose. I have always found more mature women sexy generally too.
I enjoy these fantasies sometimes but wonder if I have a problem or not??
Sexual fantasies of all sorts are very common – most people have them. And as you’ve realised, it’s the forbidden, ‘naughty’ aspect of them that often provides the kick. The main and most important point about them is that they are fantasies, not real. Just because you dream about rape or incest doesn’t mean you’d actually like to experience it. In fact, the could say that the more appalled you might be at doing it the more powerful an effect it might have on you when masturbating.
Fantasies become a problem if you lose the distinction between what is unreal and unacceptable in genuine life and what might be real and permissible. They are dangerous if you come to believe that just because you dream it you should go and do it. On the whole, sexual fantasies should remain firmly in your mind and nowhere else. They are also a problem when you find you can’t enjoy sex without them. It’s fine to use the filmstrip in your mind to add a little something but when it becomes as or more important than the actual sex you’re having with an actual person, that’s the time to ask for help.