Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase “It’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided

How to look after yoursef as you do others

Men and women are more similar than dissimilar in their needs, whether sexual or romantic. Cut through the chatter and the reality is that most men want to be loved and cherished, and most women welcome a good shag. Where the two sexes do vary is in how they experience and express those needs.

Men can be sent into a tizzy by their partners using a vibrator. The source of the anxiety isn’t so much the item itself but the feeling of being excluded, surplus to requirements and, of course, shown up. The problem is, sometimes it’s true!

Top shelf magazines seem to be available in most local newsagents, yet couples often wonder if using porn in their relationship helps or harms. There is nothing unhealthy or unusual in using visual stimulus as an addition, to spice up your sex life. Many people do it, from watching hot love scenes in a film to looking at sexy pics in a magazine. But when you get into the extremes of hard core videos and no-holds-barred sex sites, you may be in dangerous territory.

Etiquette books, detailing social codes based on traditional society, haven’t yet got around to laying down the rules of polite screwing. Which is a pity.

When sex is a problem rather than a joy, where do you turn?

There are 3 little words that many people dread saying. No – behave yourself! – not “I love you”; that slips off most tongues easier than an oyster slides down Tara Whatsit Thingie’s throat. I mean “Dad, I’m gay”. Judging from the letters I receive, coming out is rarely easy and rarely early.