Dear Suzie,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend as he had been seeing his ex girlfriend behind my back for the past few months and I found out when I read his texts. He admitted that he hadn’t loved me for a while and he is now seeing her.
I work in a college and shedoes a course here. I occasionally see her around and everytime I do I feel overcome by feelings of jealousy, hatred and anger.
I love my job and the people that I work with, but I am seriously beginning to consider finding another job as I am fed up of feeling like I need to hide away in my office just so I don’t bump into her. Is it worth risking finding another job and ending up in one that I don’t like, just so that I don’t have to see her everyday?
People can be s***, can’t they? You have all my sympathy; it’s a rough and unpleasant thing to happen to you. But look at the upside; you’ve got rid of a guy who really didn’t deserve you – you’re well shot of him. You have a job you love and I bet you’re good at, have colleagues who like and value you and with whom you enjoy working. Why leave that just because of one small reminder of a disappointment in love, which will soon fade anyway.
Stay where you are and deal with this. If you avoid sources of sadness and pain and anger when trouble comes your way, you may end up not only running all your life but never getting the skills to face up to them.
Much of your angst comes, not just from jealousy and anger, but from squashed pride and humiliation. And the longer you hide in your office, the longer those feelings of bruised self confidence and battered self esteem carry on. I think your colleagues would support you if they knew you needed it. So come out of that office, hold you head up high and face her down. Ask your mates to be with you when you have to go anywhere you’ll see her, to give you moral support.
She’s the one with a boyfriend who couldn’t make a new relationship, who lied and deceived – do you really envy her that? And in time – quite a short time, I bet – you’ll feel better about it, if you face your fears and conquer them. In a few months you’ll wonder why on earth you ever thought about leaving a good job and nice workmates for her.