well… im 16 and i’ve never had a girl friend or kissed a girl. i find it really difficult to talk to girls when i do like them, even if i am a bit tipsy. im guessing its a confidence issue. i get told i a great dude and good looking by mates, but its like no ones interested in me.
you probably get similar sort of things every day, but i need some advice in how to talk to girls and the like. you might say “just be yourself…” but im extremly panicy around girls i like and cant really act like myself
16 and never had a girlfriend? And I guess this a problem because you think you’re unusual. Hey – join the club; contrary to popular myth, the majority of 16 year olds haven’t had a girl or boyfriend.
It’s nothing unusual. It’s nothing to be worried or ashamed about. And the most ironic thing about it is that if you read some of the other letters on this site you should make a connection; that it’s quite likely that some girl, or several girls, in your school are sighing over you and wondering how to get you to ask them out. You haven’t even noticed because you’re so intent on your own anxieties and shyness you don’t see theirs!
What to do about it? Stop obsessing. Stop thinking you ought to force the issue and stop thinking there’s something wrong with you that you haven’t scored yet. Stop seeing girls as members of another species. Do you get tongue tied and panicky round your mates and need to get pissed to talk to them? No, of course not. So stop thinking being with a girl is in any way different or calls for different behaviour. And most certainly don’t think getting drunk will help in any way because it really, really won’t. Raise your self confidence by concentrating on all the good bits about yourself and what you like to do. Are you a good friend? Do you feel OK about yourself? Are there things you know you do well and can enjoy? Good. Sooner or later you’ll feel able to make the next move on someone you like. Till then, hang loose.