i dont want to hurt his feelings

Dear Suzie,
There is this boy i like, but his best friend likes me. i like his best friend but not in that way in a friend way. and this boy i like, is the one i want to go out with! but i dont want to hurt his friends feelings ?what should i do? please help!

Being nice, and tactful and kind, is very important. There’s never any excuse for hurting people’s feelings. So bluntly telling the boy who likes you that you won’t go out with him, turning your back and swanning off with his mate would be rude and cruel.

But you’re not put on this earth to please other people. Going out with someone simply because they like you is not a good reason to date. So make it very clear to him that you like this boy as a friend. In fact, make a point of saying to him “I really like being friends with you.” You may well find being friends with him outlasts being a date with the other boy! And you may also find that the longer you know him, your feelings may change.

I’m always in favour of honesty – of being upfront and clear about what you feel, what you want and what you like. But don’t confuse that with being nasty or unkind. Ask the boy you like out, and ask the other boy to be a mate. Or – keep them both as mates and look outside this little triangle for a boyfriend – there are plenty more fish in the sea! Good luck!

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