He won’t get in touch

Dear Suzie, 

I moved to a new city 5 months ago and I joined an online dating site as a means of going out more/ meeting a potential boyfriend. One of the guys contacted me and from the beginning he was very complimentary. Suddenly, after 2 e-mails he stopped all communication. I assumed that he had been on dates with someone that he really liked, so I didn’t contact him. 4 weeks later, I noticed that he was still on the site. I e-mailed him and he hgave me his telephone number. He said he had been tired of dates, but he didn’t have the confidence to get back in touch with me. He then asked me out, and we had an amazing first date. He asked me out again the following day, and we had a wonderful second date. The following day, I texted him at work, and he texted me to say that he would call me later. He has not called me since, and is still on the website. Usually, if a guy does not call me, I would forget about it, but in this case I feel that he genuinely liked me, and had even spoken of places that he wanted to take me to spend time together. I have tried to contact him, but to no avail. My feeling is that he would like to be in a relationship, but does not want to be hurt again. I am willing to take things slowly and I am not seeing other guys because I really feel that he is a wonderful person. Where do I go from here?


It’s often tough being a guy and expected to do all the first moves. I can see how this can become daunting. You helped him out by being proactive. But after seeing how nice and pleasant you were, he said he’d call and he hasn’t and that makes me wonder if it’s time to draw a line under this. I suspect this is nothing to do with you – it’s not because of anything you did or didn’t do on those dates or since. Maybe something is going on in his life that is making it hard for him to see you, or he simply didn’t see those dates in the same way as you did.


Whatever, he knows you’re there. He has your number. He can call if he wants to and he knows if he does you’ll be pleasant. If I were you, I’d see some other guys and I wouldn’t count on him or save myself for him or even expect him to get in touch again.

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