Dear Suzie, i’ve been having an affair with a married man for the past six months first we used to meet upto three times a wk or we’d text or chat.it has now got to the stage where he’s saying he wants me to delete his number and move on as he says he’s not that unhappy at home to do this to his wife and if it means living without sex he will. he told me from day one that he loved his wife but they didn’t have the physical side to the relationship.i did delete his number from my phone but then he text me a couple of days later asking if i was alright so me thinking he’s still interested which he says he is. whats he playing at? i still fancy him i also see him every day as i work with him(he’s my boss) he is a genuine nice person and he hasn’t lied to me but i’m finding it hard working with him as i don’t know what’s on his mind sometimes he avoids me at work when i confronted him about this he said he wasn’t doing it on purpose.he feels that i’m wanting more from this relationship and thats why he’s backing off otherwise he said we’d be still going strong now.we haven’t seen each other for a month now as he’s been on holiday for2 wks then i have we text each other the first two wks but there’s been nothing for 7 days. he say’s he definatley cares and still fancy’s me do you think he does.im back at work on monday and dreading it even though i know he’ll be okay with me i need to know what he’s thinking.
please help it’s driving me crazy
He hasn’t lied to you. Ya think? Don’t fool yourself. He’s a married man. So he’s lying; to his wife, his family and probably his friends and certainly your fellow workers about the fact he’s knocking off a co-worker. So you think he’d be honest with you?
Let me tell you the likely situation here. Of course he ‘fancies’ you – who wouldn’t? I bet you’re pretty and nice and, of course, gullible. You’ve fallen for his chat and his lines and his “Oh, my wife doesn’t understand me and we don’t have sex.” Dear me – that’s the oldest one in the book. And of course he’s pulled away, but is keeping is hand in. He’s pulled away because you’ve made the mistake of thinking this was more than it is and was going somewhere. And that makes trouble for him since all it was supposed it was meant to be was nice, uncomplicated free sex. It was never going to go anywhere.
I’m really sad for you because you are obviously hurting. Not as much, I bet, as his wife would hurt if she found out about her husband’s betrayal, but hurt enough. My advice is to delete his number, ignore him and find yourself a single man with whom to have a relationship.