He’s jealous of my co-worker!

i been dating this guy for 4 years he means the world to me last year  me and my Friend from work would always go out and have a couple Drinks after work and my boyfriend would always get Jealous and ask me why i smell Like Men Perfume cause he works for a Roofing Company and i work in the office at a contstruction company. we work  from 5am-6pm 5 days a week and he and i are friends and we give eachother hugs and when i go home i tell mt boyfriend that  me and him are friends we get drinks together after work. well my boyfriend and i willing to get married Next summer and we want a few Kids but i can’t Handle him being Jealous of My Co Worker 


Jealousy is hard to handle. In most situations where jealousy is an issue I’d say the person who is jealous is the one who needs to change, not the person they are jealous about. Usually, it’s not about your behaviour but about his feelings. Which means that it wouldn’t matter what you did, he’d still feel the same.

Jealousy isn’t about love, it’s about lack of self esteem and a need to be in control. The problem with that is that if you do give in and start amending your behaviour to try to appease the jealous person, what usually happens is that their demands actually become more insistent. After all, by giving in it’s as if you say “Yes, you do have something to worry about in what I’m doing, and it is my fault.”

My advice would be to talk with him about his feelings and  focus on what he feels, not what you are or are not doing.

But before you do that, you might like to have a quick think about what is actually going on here. Working 13 hours a day is ridiculous. I’m not even sure it’s legal! And it does mean that the vast majority of your time is spent in the company of people other than the man you say you want to marry. What is your priority? If it’s work, and your first allegiance is to the company, and to your co-worker, then I can see how your boyfriend may feel slighted and rejected. Perhaps if he and you could get his feelings and demands into some sort of perspective you may come to decide that while you shouldn’t change having friends and being able to go for an occasional after-work drink with them, spending all your time and all your very brief social time out of work with other people may be telling him, and yourself, where your real priorities lie.

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