You may be 14 but you’re NOT fat!

Dear Suzie,

i am 14 and i hate my body and weight. i am 9 stone and 5 foot 5. i cant stand my weight i am huge. i can remember obsessing about my weight for literally as long as i can remember in fact i cant remember a time when i didnt think about it. i dunno but u may be thinking that i am just having the usual stage of worrying a bit about my weight but i know it is much more than that i am constantly thinking about it and i mean constantly, i cant go for like 10 minutes without thinking about it. i gain weight really easily. i am always trying to starve myself, try out diets, use laxatives to lose weight. a few months ago i managed to lose like a stone and a half really quickly and my lowest weight was 7 stone 12. my goal weight is 7 stone 7. i often binge and it depresses me loads. for the last few months i have been making myself throw up my food (not every day) but often and sometimes i end up throwing up three times a day. im scared of becoming really bulimic. i dont know what to do.

most of my friends are like between like 7 and 8 stone and you may say you dont have to be like your friends but i want to be and i dont want to be the fat one. i have got to lose weight. please dont say tell an adult or get therapy because i have tried it and whatever. anyway it is not an option so i am trying this i will do anything to get thin or to get this huge obsession out of my head.

thank you for any any any advice you can give me and please please please reply.

14 andfat

You’re 14 – that much is true. But fat? No, you’re not fat. You’re not huge. 5 foot 5 inches tall and 9 stone is fine. It’s healthy. Any less and you’d be on the road to being one of those ghastly, sickening size zero so-called models who literally kill themselves by dieting and using drugs and booze and cigarettes to maintain the unnatural body so many kids seem to think is desirable. Is having a covering of light hair all over your body desirable? That’s a little known side effect of being too slim. So is constant diarrhoea, bad breath and awful skin – they cover that up in the pictures. At 7 ½ stone your knees and elbows would stick out like knobs and you’d really discover what depression was all about.

You say you’re scared of being bulimic. But not scared of being so driven that this is what you’re actually doing? Yes, you really should get this huge obsession out of your head and soon. I simply can’t tell you the damage you are already doing to your body and your mental heath by pursuing this. People die from anorexia and bulimia. It’s something that isn’t in the news enough but it’s true. And I feel so helpless because I’m pretty sure none of what I’ve said will make the slightest bit of difference.

All I can hope is that some of my care and concern gets to you. Telling an adult and seeking some support would help. You say you’ve tried it and whatever. Whatever what? You refused to take it any further? Yes, the sad fact is that you’re the only one who can stop this obsession, not anyone else. I’d strongly suggest contacting BEAT, the Eating Disorders Association. Their helpline is on 0845 634 7650 Mon-Fri, 10.30 am-8.30pm, Sat 1pm-4.30pm. They’d be supportive, non judgemental and would help you.

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