They say i look like a boy

Dear Suzie, i have a problem all the people at school think i look like boy but i try my best to be girly and they think im acting weird what can i do its starting to hurt my feelings

I think you should make a rule in life; be yourself. It’s a dead end trying to be what other people say they think you should be, whether that means “being girly”, “being nice” or “Have sex with me or I’ll tell everyone you’re a lesbian. Oh, BTW, sleep with me and I’ll tell everyone you’re easy”. Giving into any of those is a lose/lose situation.

Anyway – what do you think they mean by looking like a boy? Not having boobs like Jordan’s or hips like Nigella Lawson? Lucky you – you’ll fit into all the really good designer gear which is made to fall beautifully on a sleeker outline. But hang on – how old are you? If you’re under 18, and I guess you are, you can’t make judgements about what your body will look like when you fully develop. Ignore the taunts and sooner or later you might have the last laugh. Twiggy, one of the models who features in the M&S ads, certainly did!

Maybe when they say you look like a boy, they mean someone who stands up straight, looks people in the eye and acts like a person rather than a simpering mouse. Being ‘girly’ often means being intimidated and you don’t want to do that, do you?

My advice would be to be assertive about this. Rather than trying to be what you think they demand, turn it round. Tell the people who torment you like this that their remarks are hurtful. If they’d like to be friends, fine. If they want to leave you alone that’s fine too. But stop with the bullying because it just shows them up. Then, you get on with being yourself. People who matter know that what a person looks like is nothing to do with who or what they are.

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