Dear Suzie,
i have been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years i am 19 years old and i live with him, but i dont know if i want to be with him anymore sometimes i cant imagine my life without him but other times i cant stand being around him even if we havent had a argument. we had a long distance relationship for about 3 years and then i moved away from my family to live with him he also wants to get married but i am unsure if this is what i want i just dont know what to do i have tried speaking to him but it never seem to get us anywhere please help
You started this relationship when you were a tiny teeny – 13 ½. That’s a lovely age to fall in love and go through all the agonies of learning about attraction and desire and how your body works and how emotions feel. It’s the age to experiment and to try new aspects of your own personality, to see who you’re going to become and who you’ll find suits you. It’s NOT the age at which to settle down with the first guy who rings your bell.
I don’t know what age he was and now is but whatever, I can assure you I’d be amazed if what worked then works now. Move on. You’re clinging to him, and maybe he’s clinging to you, because it feels like a safe part of the past and a lovely protection against whatever else might be going on in your lives that feels unsafe and sad.
Okay – some people stay with childhood sweethearts and it works. Clearly, it isn’t working for you. This isn’t love – it’s fear of the great unknown and a habit. If you were a friend of mine or my daughter, I’d be supporting you to take a deep breath and step away from this.