It’s inappropriate and it’s dangerous

Dear Suzie,

I’m 28 years old and work in a dr’s surgery and about 6 months ago one of the patients who is 72 years old starting coming in to the surgery and starting talking to me which wasnt a problem until 3 months ago he told me he fancied me i just laughed it off at first but while out shopping 8 weeks ago he was in the same supermarket as me and we got talking and ever since have been meeting up on a weekly basis. I thought i could handle the situation but the truth is i have very strong feelings for this man and 2 weeks ago he tried to kiss me, as much as i wanted to kiss him i pulled away. I am married with 2 children and love my husband very much. This man is also married. My work colleagues have told me to try and ignore this man (i havent told them how i feel as i am embarressed because of his age)but i cant help my feelings. What can i do.

You may not be able to help your feelings but you most certainly can help what you do about them. Maybe you are attracted to this man. That doesn’t mean you have to follow through on your feelings. And what you’re doing here is wrong on so many levels.

For start, since you work at this man’s surgery and that is where you met him, you are crossing boundaries you should not cross. He may be vulnerable and be seeing you as someone he can rely on or confide in, and having a relationship with him could be seen as a form of taking advantage. You too seem to be looking for something in this relationship that needs examining – is he a father figure to you and if so why do you need this?

And that’s even before you consider that both of you are married which means you are deceiving two spouses and two families. It’s inappropriate, it’s dangerous and it shouldn’t be happening. Stop it now.

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