I really like this boy but I’m shy!

Dear Suzie, im 14 and i really like this boy and he goes to my school, we talk on msn but then when we see eachother at school i cant bring myself to say hi to him and he hangs around waiting for me to say some thing to him but im too shy! he acts like he likes me but im just not sure enough! one time i turned around and he sed “u ite” and i didnt even smile or anything to make him say that! i always see him walking home and walking to school aswell! i have had loads of chances to say something but i just dont no if i can because i dont know if he likes me or not or what he is going to do! please help me as im really confused!

You talk on msn. He hangs around waiting for you to talk to him. He ‘acts like he likes’ you. He even said something to you. And you’re still saying you’re not sure if he like you? Good grief girl – what more do you want? A banner?

 From what you’ve said, yes he likes you. From what you’ve said, he too is shy but he has tried to break the ice. He’s probably lying awake at night obsessing over the fact that you ignore him when he tries to talk with you and won’t even acknowledge he exists. He probably can’t understand why you’ll chat on msn but won’t even give him the time of day in real life.

 Ok, you’re shy. You have my sympathy but all of us start out shy. Yes, it makes it hard and it feels scary to screw up courage and make a step towards someone. But have a heart. He’s trying – he’s gone out on a limb and made the effort for you. Boys have a tough time because we tend to expect them to make the first move, and it’s horrible having to be the one to risk rejection. And you have rejected him, by ignoring him when he tried.

 If I were you, I’d go straight onto msn tonight and send him a message. Tell him you like him. Tell him you’re shy. Tell him you’re sorry you ignore him when you see him on the way to school and on the way home. Tell him you’re sorry you ignored him when he tried to speak to you. Tell him in spite of your shyness you’d like to get to know him in real life. And ask him to come and speak to you tomorrow. When he comes up to you, take a deep breath and say “Hi.” And then, instead of only thinking about yourself, start thinking of him. Consider how he feels, and consider what he’s saying and what he’s like. That’s the way to make friendships work. I know it’s hard, but I also know you can do it! Good luck!

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