How do we act to these boys?

Dear Suzie,

we are both 14 and attended a concert for a club. we recently joined the singing club because one of my friends really liked a 16 year old boy that went. when we went another friend started to fall for his 14 year old best friend. Everything was going ok until they decided to leave the club. but since then, our friend found their myspaces by chance, and we added them on msn. We have been seeing them numerous amounts of times and there has been quite a few outrageously obvious signs it was meant to be. We have not really spoken, but there has been qiute a few looks and we feel as they are stringing us along. My second friend ignores the boy she likes but it is obvious he likes her. we performed in our club on Sunday and they came to watch and my first friend’s sister said the 16 year old she fancies was really happy when she was doing her solo. what do we do and how do we act on the events that have happened? please help we cant stop thinking about it and them and we can’t stop thinking about the situation. our friends say that they are interested but they dont seem to act on it or like they are interested. please help we are sooooooo confused.

Oh my, the problems that arise when you ‘play it cool’. Ok – I’m all for being a bit careful and not totally wearing your heart on your sleeve or carrying a big sign saying “Hey! I fancy you, me!!!” But can’t you see how difficult life becomes when you wallow around in a mishmash of hints and guesses?

From my experience, people look at you and enjoy being with you when they like you. If you repay that with clever-clever “I’m going to ignore you” games, the person is likely to feel offended and rejected and go off you.

Lesson #1 – probably the most important lesson you can learn in life – is that no-one can read your mind. No-one. No matter what. If you like them and don’t say so, how do you expect them to know it? Of course, they may pick up the hint from your body language – that is, looking at them and smiling and leaning towards them. But teenagers – especially teenage boys – are inexperienced at reading body language. And they have the “gotta be cool” message so even though they fancy you they may be too shy or too scared of being ignored or laughed at to do anything about that.

So how do you act? You act friendly. You need to smile, go up to them and say “Nice to see you here! Shall we have a drink together? Wanna dance? And if they don’t respond, too bad. There’s plenty more fish in the sea…

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