Dealing with my teenagers is like trying to herd cats. If one gets what they want, the others complain. If we try to put our foot down one or two or all three of them will have some reason why it shouldn’t apply to them. They’re always coming to us with requests and questions and it feels as if we say the same thing, again and again. They’re good boys and really lovely people. It’s just that it feels as if were fighting a losing battle
It sounds as if you’d benefit from two strategies. One is giving them far more responsibility themselves. With teenagers, it can help to hand over some power and control and tell them to manage it. The other is for you to institute a Family Discussion once a week and tell them to be there or lose out – you won’t repeat things and you won’t debate things that have come up there and been agreed by who’s at the discussion. It’s an excellent way of getting agreements and consensus, on hearing everyone’s point of view and needs and getting them to balance them out. Put your foot down on this one thing – that you’re going to have them – and then you won’t have to fight again.