Office tease

Dear Suzie, 

 I’m not a little boy, but you know – I still can’t read body language or between the lines of what women say or send.

 Ok, well here goes.

 I work with this girl who is 22 years old; she and I are both part timers, but she returns to school at the end of August, while I will be continuing with this company on a 6 month contract.

 She is my senior by about 2 or 3 weeks, which in the big picture means little; nevertheless, she has a bit more knowledge than I do.

 When we work she lets me sit at the computer terminal and she ‘scrunches’ (is scrunches a word??) down in a little side chair and puts herself into this very submissive position.   When she leans forward, to give advice (whether needed or not) she stays low and bent down, in a very submissive position.

 While this may sound rude, she always leaves a button or 2 undone when we work together and she does afford me a view down her front. No she does not go braless.

 When we process this work, we then must file away the items into inventory.   Now this is not nuclear physics, but she insists to walk with me when we put things away and she always makes a clear point of touching hands when we put things into their bins.

 I’m sorry if this is kindergarten stuff…but it’s puzzling.

To continue, she makes a point of reaching forward and letting me see the outline of her cute bottom… and when I leave to occasionally take care of other things, I return to find her PACING the floor with her hands on her hips…her shirt appears to be intentionally drawn tight so I can see her curves.

 I have massaged her shoulders, which she did not complain about, but after a short period of time, she did say that was enough or something like this.

 She tells me that she is working out to loose weight, but believe me, she’s not a pound overweight; when she tells me this, I grab her calf and tell her that she’s not fat.

 When my vehicle was stolen the other day, she comes n the next day and tells me that we are much the same, as some kids broke into her vehicle the next night.

 I am stupid aren’t I??

 She tells me that she sleeps nude and that the doors to her home are never locked.

 Ok, now here’s the part that confuses me to no end; she is moving into an apartment for school with her boyfriend.   She continually throws this boyfriend into my face…not in a rude way, but always mentions him – constantly.

 She tells me that she wants me to always work with her and when I am scheduled to leave early, she laughs and jokes, asking if I want to work overtime with her.

Woudl you please tell me what she is doing?

 Is she just a tease?

Does she want me to be aggressive and grab her bum and kiss her…what does she want, if anything beyond attention?

 Can you read her? I can’t.


I’m not sure I can answer because what you tell me is filtered through your understanding and not that of an objective viewer. If what you say is true, she is sending out very conflicted and confused signals, giving you a come on while warning you to stay away. It could be that she is attracted to you but is committed to and attracted to her boyfriend. She may be confused by her attraction to you – lots of people believe once they fall in love with one person they won’t notice other people, which is ridiculous. If that’s her belief, she may be testing herself by flirting with you.

 But equally, it is more than possible that you are misreading her behaviour. She may simply be leaning forward. She may simply be being friendly with a fellow co-worker.  

 Whichever, let me tell you one thing and if you listen to one thing only I say, let it be this.  If you acted in an aggressive way, grabbing her bum or kissing her, you would be committing an assault. And even if she was flirting with you or giving you a come on, she would not welcome that under any circumstances. It would be viewed as sexual harassment and probably get you sacked. Don’t do it.  

Yes, she may be teasing. Or you may be misreading the signs. Either way, back off.  My advice would be to be honest. Tell her you are attracted to her and are confused as to whether she likes you in the same way or simply as a friend. If she says she simply wants to be friends, then ignore her behaviour from now on. If she is playing games with you, you’ll only get in trouble if you respond. It’s only a month – grit your teeth till then!

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