i have fallen in love with my friend! We used to be enimies, and as im quite a shy person i wont tell my friends as he isnt exactly boyfriend material. Im so confsued inside and i dont know if i love him or not. Please help! I’m 14
Best of enemies often become best of friends – we can’t always distinguish between the strong emotions of love and anger! Look at all the best plays and books, from Shakespeare to Judy Bloom or J.K. Rowling, and you’ll see that love often follows hot on the heels of conflict. Scrap one day, kiss the next; it’s an age-old scenario.
And we also tend to fall for bad boys and girls – the very fact that they seem dangerous and we’re warned off them makes them deeply intriguing and attractive.
But at 14, whatever you think it’s unlikely to last very long. I’m not saying it isn’t real and I’m not saying it feels any less. It is and it does. Indeed, first love can be the strongest emotion you can imagine. But what I am saying is that very few relationships started at 14 go on for life. Or even a term! Which means you can either bite your lip and suffer through your feelings until they fade, as they will. Or say “What the hell!” and ask him out. Whichever you think is best for you.
If I were you I would chat it through with friends, with older siblings if you have them and with parents. They’ll understand since just about all of us have been there, done that, got the scars to prove it. That’s what support networks are for – to be there when you need them and get you through the overwhelming and confusing emotions of the teenage years.
You’re not alone, whatever it feels like. Good luck!