I’m bored!!

Dear Suzie,
my mom won’t let me go to the movies with my friend and I am bord as I can be

If you want one thing and a parent wants another the only way out is to negotiate. And negotiating means you have to understand why the two of you are in opposition and then present reasoned arguments to back up your side. So why is she saying no? Is she a nasty, selfish old meany? Does she hate you to have fun? You may say that in the heat of the moment but is it true?

Or could it be because the family budget is stretched and she can’t afford a cinema ticket? Or that you went to the cinema recently and she feels it’s too much? Or is the film one she thinks is unsuitable? Or the friend one she thinks unsuitable? Or is there a reason she’d like you home at this particular time – have you got chores or homework you should have done and she’s saying no to teach you a lesson or because you should be doing them?

Does she feel you could be finding better ways to relieve your boredom – read a book, talk to someone, play a game, make something? My old Ma used to say “Bored is boring” and I do now see what she means. Sometimes, making a bit of effort to amuse or entertain ourselves is far more productive in the long run.

My advice is not to whine or whinge but to think carefully why you want what you want and to ask your mum to sit down to discuss it. But if you want her to respect and listen to you, you have to respect and listen to her. Ask her why she’s saying no and take it on board. Maybe once the two of you are hearing the others point of view, you can come to a solution both of you will accept. Good luck!

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