how can i be sure he likes me?

Dear Suzie,
i have no one to talk with but u, so i hope u will help.
i’m 17 and i like a boy from my high school, i feel like he like me back, but he is too shy. i talk to him everyday but just : hello,how r u? how was ur day? or something like that ,but nothing more. so how can i be sure if he truly like me or i’m just dreaming? cause i don’t want to fall in love with him then get hurt.
i know all his friends. i don’t want him to find out that i like him,cause i’m afraid if he knows he will become selfish or he won’t want me . i don’t know. now wherever he goes in school he finds me.
i don’t want to get hurt again. so that’s why i have to chose the one who i’m gonna fall in love with even if sometimes my heart control me.
so what do u think? help to know how to win him plz
thanks very much

I’m not sure anyone can control who they fall for – emotions are not something we can rein in just because we want to! If you like him, you like him – the cat’s out of the bag already. But you can, of course, control what you do about it. You can ignore him, play cool with him, pretend you don’t like him. But what’s the point of that?

You tell me he seems to pop up in school wherever you are – that’s about as big a clue as I can think of that he feels the same about you as you do about him. So while both of you are playing silly “I’m so kwl” games, you’re both missing out on having fun and being special to each other.

Yes, once he knows you like him he may muck you about; he probably fears once you know he likes you you’re going to take advantage. Perhaps if you both acted like nice people, no-one will get hurt.

Although, it’s unlikely that you’ll stay together for ever so a break up is on the cards sometime in the future, but that’s life. You don’t avoid life by putting your head in the sand.

So how to win him? Next time you say “hello, how r u? how was ur day?” add “Want to come have a coffee with me/watch a DVD/listen to some sounds after school?” (you put in whatever rings your bell!) and see what happens. My view is that it’s worth taking risks to get somewhere. Never taking risks means you never achieve anything and that’s far, far worse than nursing a broken heart for a few weeks.

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