In 2 weeks I am going to Rome on a school trip and sharing a room of a friend with mine. I am a homosexual and I have my suspicions about him as he seems gay. I’ve fancied him for a few months now and I’m wondering if when in Rome I should try something with him. I am afraid it might ruin our friendship though.
If you’re under 16 please be aware that sexual activity is outside the law. I say that because if you did ‘try something on’ and it isn’t welcome to him, not only could he reject you, he could also get you into trouble.
Seeming gay, as you should know, is not necessarily accurate. People can be macho, and gay, and camp and straight. Unless you think you have good gaydar, and can pick up the hints that tell you someone is in the same club as you, or coming on to you, then you could be wrong.
Does your friend know you are gay? If he does, all you have to do is quietly and calmly say “I do fancy you, you know” and let him either say “Thanks but no thanks” or “What a coincidence!”
As a teenager, some of the skills you have to learn is to realize you fancy someone, assess whether they feel the same way, to flirt and to make your move. These are skills you have to pick up and practice, not something someone else can teach you. It’s exactly the same for straights and for gays – with the added difficulty for you that being rejected by someone of the opposite sex is painful and can be hurtful; being rejected by someone of the same sex may be accompanied by ridicule or even threats.
I’m afraid I can’t give you chapter and verse on how to do this, or whether you should. It’s worth noting that friends can be friends for ever; a lover may only last for a season. I can only say be sensitive and aware, and trust your instincts (not your lust!) as to whether you should let him know how you feel. But it might be best not to plan taking advantage of the romantic atmosphere of Rome – it could ruin a fab holiday if he says no. But if he comes on to you, make sure you recognize he’s doing so! Otherwise, you could lay the groundwork for making a pass when you come back. Good luck!