Does he only want me for sex?

Dear Suzie, 

 I recently met this guy in a club and he seemed very keen to meet up, so we met up for a coffee on our first date. He seem quiet and I was doing all the talking. Although I can sense that he wasn’t really into the talking, but he insisted to spend more time together and we ended smooching in the park. At the end of our first date, he has already invited me to his tomorrow for our second date but I said no and insisted that we go bowling instead. Therefore, our second date was spent bowling and he suggested catching a movie thereafter. However, he seemed abit distance and nothing romantic happened, not even holding hands or quick kiss (this confuses me a little as compared to our first date). He also keeps asking me through out the week what i’m doing and if i would like to go to his. I have already explained to him several times that I will go to his eventually when I get to know him better. We had our third date in a week and we talked about it and he said he doesn’t like kissing and cuddling in public, that’s why he keep asking me to go to his place. I like this guy but I’m also worried at the same time because things seems to be gonig too fast and I’m wondering if he is a player and just wanting me for the sex? Please help

 from: confused x

 I have a really bad feeling about this. You met him in a club, which means no-one you know knows him. No-one has seen you with him. No-one can vouch for him or witness what sort of relationship you have. OK – I may be jumping to conclusions and being absolutely out of order but just consider; if you went back to his place and he raped you, drugged you, even murdered you…who would know what really happened?

 Maybe I’m being overly suspicious but think about it. He could simply be wanting to take it a bit too quickly, a but too far. But hey – that’s still rape by another name. Let’s say you go to his place and he forces you. It’s your word against his that it wasn’t consensual. He could spin all sorts of stories about what happened. And it really feels to me as if he’s setting this up, by being romantic at first then withdrawing and spinning is line about not liking to kiss in public. He didn’t seem to have a problem with that at first, did he?

My advice? Too be honest, since I think you feel uneasy about him I’d run a mile. Drop him, fast. If you like him, then introduce him to your friends. I’d strongly suggest you double date  and ask the other guy after what he thought of him. Make sure he knows you’ve told your friends exactly how far you’re willing to go. And hold out against being alone with him in his place until you really know him.

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