does he fancy me?

Dear Suzie, i am 17 and work partime on a Saturday. I am bi also. A boy who works outside the place where i work, on a market stall, is very nice looking and i am attracted to him a great deal. I have talked to him before a number of times. Once i was walking from behind my counter and he was in the queue. I didn’t notice and found him looking at me when i turned.

Another time is when i made convo with him on my break. He was on his stall and i has walked past sed hiya and asked had he been busy today. He replied “Not that busy” with a smile. I began to walk on and turned back to find him still looking at me walking.

The other week i happened to go to the dentist in a different town to where i work, finding him leaning outside a fruit and veg store. I walked up to him and made more convo, and went to walk away he made more convo with me then so i stayed. He told me how he works here and on the stall on a Saturday.

I have a feeling that he is gay from the way he acts, he doesn’t look it at all but from the way he talks to me and the way he acts i think he mite be. Wel either gay or bi i dont think he’s straight. I decided to ask him out for drink the next time i was over there, so i made an effort to go and c him, we talked whilst he had no customers and in amongst the convo i asked did he fancy going for a drink sometime after work. He shook his head, he sed he don’t get home till late cos his stock has to go to the whole sellers so he don’t get home till late on any day even the weekend.

But the way he sed it was if he wanted to or would like to but afraid of what may happen if you get what i mean? What should i do?

Go on talking to him. Maybe he just wants to be friends, whether he’s straight, gay or bi. Maybe he’s gay or bi and fancies you but isn’t ‘out’ yet so doesn’t want to risk getting friendly with someone he fancies. Whatever, you’re building up a friendship through these meetings day by day so keep it up.

In a few weeks, ask him again, but make it specific. Instead of asking about a drink ‘sometime’, say “I’m going to such-and-such a place at such-and-such a time – be great if you can come too.” Leave it at that, and see if he comes. If he doesn’t, leave it a few weeks later and try again. If he didn’t come out when it was to meet you on your own, set up a night out with some friends and invite him to join you, making it clear it’s with other people too.

Give him the opportunities and if your instincts are right and he is keen, he’ll eventually take the bait. If he doesn’t, don’t take it personally. There are all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with you that might prevent him getting to know you better. He has to decide for himself whether he makes a move, or responds to your invitations, or not. Make the offer and see what happens. Good luck!

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